The Power Of Touch
As other mothers, I find myself getting consumed in the daily routine of pseudo cleaning, cooking, changing diapers (well maybe not for a few months), feeding kiddos, giving baths (ok, maybe twice a week 😉 ) – RINSE – REPEAT. Because doing things for my family is MY current love language, I often forget to show my love for my husband (specifically) in other ways. I had honestly forgotten the power of touch.
As a child and even young woman, I yearned, missed, and needed my mother’s touch . . . a hug and snif of the familiar perfume on her clothes was oh so comforting. I’d even settle for a smack in the butt, which is her love language. . . .Through my mother, I learned the power of touch.
When I got married, I developed a similar addiction for physical affection from my husband. I wanted to hug him, be held by him, and just squeeze him so hard! . . . He’d even say, “babe, I gotta go . . . I’m going to see you tonight.” I guess I was hugging him like it was the last time. But, shouldn’t it be that way? . . . With my husband, I knew the power of touch.
With my daughter, I’m loving, hugging, cuddling, and kissing her all day long. She absolutely loves it. . . . To my daughter, I taught the power of touch. . . . BUT, it came at a bit of a cost.
My daughter has always been the jealous type where she only wants daddy and mommy loving on her . . . not each other! So to not deal with the screams, outbursts, and cries, I’ve withheld from hugging and kissing my husband as much as I did in the past. Big mistake! . . . when did she become boss of my relationship with her daddy?
Rediscovering The Power Of Touch
Hubby and I try to make time for dates, although they are very irregular. When we do get some time alone, it’s usually dinner and a movie. Then, we rush to pick up our daughter for a decent bedtime. A typical date consists of us talking about what went on that day or the food on our plate or the young awkward couple on their first date next to us. We then sit quietly for a 2 hour film, and then talk about how we really shouldn’t have eaten those nachos and tub of popcorn after a 3 course dinner. Of course, at that point, we’re so tired . . . but still consider a Krispy Kreme run. After all, we don’t do this every day. Exciting, right?!
This past week, I had the opportunity to spend 4.5 full days ALONE with my husband. “What are we going to talk about?” actually crossed my mind. But you know what? There was tons to talk about, starting with those million things we tell each other and only half hear because there is usually a screaming toddler in the background.
We held hands! Sure, I had to gently remind him, “HOLD MY HAND NOW!” But it was sweet, and reminiscent of our courting days when he used to buy me flowers regularly and open the car door for me. Not that I’m bitter that doesn’t happen much these days . . . . I’m just saying.
We dreamed together and made plans for the future. We talked about and agreed on the priorities in our life as a family, such as that supercharger that is essential for his Mustang. We were silly and laughed together, ok farted together . . . really, that darn burrito tore us up! TMI, I know . . . sorry. The point is, we reconnected. We touched.
Quite honestly, those few days away and alone with each other revitalized our marriage. It helped us rediscover each other even though we hadn’t realized we were losing touch. Sure, it was hard being away from out little one and we talked about her often, but it was GOOD, SO GOOD. It helped make US a priority, something that hadn’t happened for quite a while.
So if you haven’t had time alone with your husband . . . and I’m talking at least 2 days, 1 night . . . please try. It’ll rejuvenate your marriage and you!! It’ll be surprisingly relaxing as well. Give yourself the opportunity to rediscover the power of touch.
Have you had any similar experiences falling out of touch with your spouse? What do you do to reconnect? Please share in the comments, I’d love to know.